I WAS ATTACKED BY THE SAME GUNMEN

I don’t know how to explain the attack.

My yesterday’s story was about how Jude was attacked by four gun men. Umunnem na Umunnam, these same gun men came for me. Like I said, I don’t know how to explain it but I will try.

I wrote and finished editing that write up by 11:34pm the night before I posted (make u no think sey e easy to write o). After I was done, I was really tired and hungry but it was too late to eat so I drank water, prayed and went to sleep.

After I got what seemed like 2 hours of sleep I was poked with a cold metal, I didn’t wake, I changed position and resumed sleeping. The poke came again, this time more like a jab, I jerked out of sleep and out of bed. The light was turned off but I could see them clearly. I was now standing before the notorious leader who shot Jude, one of the gang members was behind him and the other two were sitting on my writing table which doubles as my makeup table.

The armed robbers were all holding printed copies of the Jude story in one hand and their guns in the other. Their leader climbed a ladder to get to my writing chair from where he demanded “where is the money?” I didn’t respond and was not afraid. I just stood at akimbo shaking my body like Iya Tolu waiting to fight Iya Bose. “You know sey u no get money u come dey write this yeye story about us” the leader said shaking the printout he was holding. I still didn’t speak.

The robber behind him came around and held me by the neck with one hand, I struggled, reached out and also held him by the neck with one hand. I don’t understand how I was able to reach his neck from my barely 5.3 ft height as he was almost 6.2 ft, but I did. I grabbed him very tight and he let go of my neck and staggered into my neighbour’s room through my wall with his bloody neck.

Their leader said “dis woman, wetin I go do u pass wetin I do Jude o”. I hissed and told him “I no be Jude ooo, no try me ooo”. Suddenly power was turned on, he turned and saw my mum with a shot gun pointing to his head. He asked her if she could use the gun and my mum said “touch her and find out”.

I turned and saw that the other two robbers sitting on my table had changed and were now looking like Atiku and Peter Obi. They were no longer holding guns but were eating eba and egusi soup and smiling. (I slept really hungry)

The other robber that went into my neighbour’s room came back through the same wall and asked how much I will charge him to do his wife’s makeup for their 77th child dedication. I turned to my mum and she said “your boss is calling you, pick his call”.

I woke up and reached for my phone, it was not ringing, I checked the time, it was 3:18am.

Damn them, I still posted the story.

Some of these stories mess with my mind and night.

Ogechukwu Ikwueme

(Nwanne unu Nwanyi)