I SLEPT WITH HER, I HAD TO DO IT

When my dad passed away more than a decade ago, I had to live on my own for a while before my mum returned from the village and my brothers had both returned to their bases. It is difficult to be alone when you lose someone close, but I had to because I had no choice.

When I returned to the house, I knew sleeping alone won't work. I couldn’t possibly sleep on my own because of fear, that was the same house we lived with dad,... no no I said to myself, nmara anonwu kwa sosom. I was also depressed. Even staying in the house alone during the day was wahala not to talk more of

WHAT DO YOU KNOW?

On my way from work today, in the vehicle I boarded, a man was really angry and complaining to his friend how his wife spends most part of her day watching telemundo thereby leaving the house unkept and burning his food. He said "no be sey them dey learn anything for there". A woman beside him chuk her mouth for the matter and the following conversation ensued:

I WAS ATTACKED BY THE SAME GUNMEN

I don’t know how to explain the attack.

My yesterday’s story was about how Jude was attacked by four gun men. Umunnem na Umunnam, these same gun men came for me. Like I said, I don’t know how to explain it but I will try.

I wrote and finished editing that write up by 11:34pm the night before I posted (make u no think sey e easy to write o). After I was done, I was really tired and hungry but it was too late to eat so I drank water, prayed and went to sleep.

JUDE, MR & MRS AKANDE AND THE ARMED ROBBERS

Jude was like every other guy. 33, single, lived and ran his business in the city. He had friends he hung out with for drinks and chats.

On a particular day, some years ago, he was restless but couldn’t understand why. He couldn’t stay in his business premises and he couldn’t sit in a place for more than 10 minutes. He decided to look for any of his friends who was free to have a drink that afternoon but none was available. He went to his friend, Omone’s office to sit and chat with him for a while, even there, he couldn’t stay for more than 20 minutes.

SHE STOLE MY MONEY, GUESS WHERE SHE HID IT

Some years ago I visited a friend in one of the suburbs in Abuja and decided to make my hair in a salon like I usually do anytime I am in her area. Mama Margaret, the hairstylist and the owner of the shop is good which is evident in the number of compliment I get on my hair. In fact most times, I visit my friend for the opportunity to make my hair.

On the day of visit, I used an ATM before heading to the salon because I didn’t have enough cash on me. I withdrew N15,000.

On getting to the salon, it was filled with customers as usual because it was on a Saturday. The hairstylist was showing a lady sitting on a couch, different hair styles on her phone when I walked in. I found a space to sit on the already crowded couch and waited for a little while before one of hairstylist’s apprentice was free to wash my hair. Like I always do, I dropped my bag on the couch and went outside where the shampoo bowl was located.

WHY I SMILE

You know how some people analyze smiling to mean hiding ones pains and life's stress, well I'll tell you some of the reasons why I smile all the time 😁😁: I smile cos I'm truly a happy person💃, I smile cos I have a big God, I smile to live longer, I smile cos it's easier to smile, I smile cos I probably just finished eating (banga)✌ yeah! I also smile to tell the devil who is in charge, I smile cos I can, I smile to make

THE PLANNED TO KILL THE OLD WOMAN

Mama Achalugo is a widow who lives in a village in Anambra State with her late younger brother's children. The children had no one who cared to take care of them when their parent passed away. Mama whose children live in the cities needed someone around her so she took the children in. After all, they are her brother's children.

Mama is a strong old woman. She is popularly called Nwagbogho in the village because she looked 50 even though she is 75. She sells perishable food even though her children cater for her and the orphans.